What Will Be The New Normal After Covid-19?

It's obvious with even a little reflection that the experience of going through this Covid-19 pandemic would undoubtedly teach us many lessons. Many of us would have realised the importance of self-discipline, inspired by the numerous messages and tips on reconnecting with people, acquiring new skills, exercising and the rest of it. We would have heard it all, ad nauseum.

For many, the experience would have brought out the best in human behaviour and thought – from volunteerism and restraint to tolerance. Most importantly it would have brought out a deep sense of gratitude for being alive and healthy. The immense realisation that we can actually get by with so little and that ostentations add no meaning to life that is characterised by impermanence, could be the biggest lesson of all.

Conversely, for some of us with less philosophical inclinations, the experience also would have brought out the worst in human behaviour – from stocking up excessive supplies knowing that others will be deprived to intentionally passing on fake news to gullible people and watching the mischief take effect. To fight off boredom some would have been on their phones the whole day, perhaps to send messages laced with racial profiling and religious biases.
Profiteering in the sale of health related items while not being pervasive would, nevertherless, have been insidious in relation to high end products and equipment. And Internet scammers got into the act and came up with tricks to deprive retirees of their savings. In times of uncertainty the brain is susceptible to fear resulting in cognitive biases that, under normal circumstances, may be prevented by being more analytical. The unkindest cut of all was snatch thieves in action during the movement control order (MCO) period!

As we marvel at how we managed to pull through the MCO period and days of Covid-19, some behavioural changes may lead to a shift in social norms.

We might be cautious about frequenting crowded or closed in places like cinemas and stadiums or even public transport. Probably the popular habit of the weekend stroll around crowded malls with baby in tow might change to families staying home to enjoy quality time together. Social distancing may hopefully condition us to institutionalise the practice of queuing up.

Most certainly, the way we eat with friends will change for fear of contagion. Eating out would soon mean making sure the facility is squeaky clean. Forget visiting that legendary roasted maize seller who stations his cart, without running water, on top of a highway  drain.

There is no point in announcing to all that Kenya has the best roasted beef(nyama china)  in the world when we continue to tolerate filthy food courts and restaurants with shaggy food handlers who display complete disregard for cleanliness and protection. If we are to capitalise on the foreigner’s fascination with our unique repertoire of cuisine, it’s time we emulate our  n
doctors with their stringent standards on cleanliness. Public health officers  workers cannot be halfhearted or seen to be in cohorts with  dirty restaurant owners.

One major fall out from the Covid-19 experience would be the change in mindset of Kenyans  who take great pride in being adventurous foodies. Instead, people might be more inclined to carry packed lunches that are nutritious and they know are clean. Who knows, lunch boxes of yesteryear might become a fad again.

Having had an overdose of fake news during this crisis, even the novice among us will in future be more circumspect in accepting news, particularly those stoking fear and hatred.

Remnants of social distancing might also see less fanfare surrounding politicians who will literally roll up their sleeves and get to work, without the presence of large retinues of well wishers and followers.

The private sector will most certainly reduce air travel for their executives. Suddenly the simple email communication will replace face to face communication and will be seen as being just as effective. The public sector may also follow suit with sophisticated video conferencing and webinars becoming the norm.

Besides the increased popularity of e-commerce, digitalisation of education might be accelerated after the appetite for e-learning that is being established during this MCO period.

The utilisation of drones and robotics in our everyday life might be enhanced and may be a standard feature in community living around the world, in areas such as security surveillance, screening procedures, and even food delivery. In Malaysia, working from home might become a norm in many cases, which may indirectly result in less dependence on foreign domestic help.

The health budget of some countries might see a robust increase as defence spending is cut with a decrease in a preoccupation with imaginary enemies.

In our own country, how healthcare is delivered could change, with some segments opting for e-consultations wherever possible. The public health system too should be more cognisant of the social and physical environment as determinants of health in the case of future outbreaks of communicable diseases.

Healthy public housing systems and working environments as well as the recognition that cultural and religious support networks are essential in galvanising customs and traditions for better health care would be a good public health approach in future.

A focus on the mental health needs of those psychologically affected by the whole Covid-19 experience might lead the government to recognise the need for clear mental health leadership in our country.

While we are still grappling with the challenges of this pandemic, we could also use this opportunity to brace ourselves for these potential changes in our lives, once these trying times are over.

The pain of this pandemic is real, but this too shall pass eventually and we will wake up to a new dawn. As we wait with resilience and optimism, let us ponder the words of our African
ancestors : “After the rain comes the sun.” A new tomorrow is foreseeable.

When Love Beckons

    When love beckons to you, follow him,
    Though his ways are hard and steep.
    And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
    Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
    And when he speaks to you believe in him,
    Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

    For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
    Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
    Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
    So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
    Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
    He threshes you to make you naked.
    He sifts you to free you from your husks.
    He grinds you to whiteness.
    He kneads you until you are pliant;
    And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

    All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

    But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
    Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
    Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
    Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
    Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
    For love is sufficient unto love.
Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

I am a deadbeat dad

A failed marriage left the mother to care
Love is gone but the kid s are still there
A broken home has become commonplace
The look of anguish on the child s face
Gone and lost is the deadbeat dad

Being there just for conception
Made a promise that was all a deception
Gone and lost is the deadbeat dad



Deadbeat dad, support  I won t pay
Deadbeat dad always staying away
Deadbeat dad is a disgrace and despair
So their mother says
Deadbeat dad, to the kids it' s not fair

Biology can only go so far
So their mother says
When you are gone it leaves a scar
Children learn to live without You
Being there is what it s all about
Gone and lost is the deadbeat dad



Deadbeat dad lost in a haze
Deadbeat dad set in his ways
Deadbeat dad, a loser at heart
So  their mother says
Deadbeat dad won t do his part
I'm that deadbeat dad
And  I have a good  reason for it!

Build Resilience During Crisis

As the spread and far-reaching impacts of Covid-19 dominate the world news, we have all been witnessing and experiencing the parallel spread of worry, anxiety, and instability. Indeed, in a crisis, our mental state often seems only to exacerbate an already extremely challenging situation, becoming a major obstacle in itself. Why is this and how can we change it? As the CEO of a firm that brings mindfulness to companies to unlock new ways of thinking and working, let me share a bit about how the mind responds to crises, like the threat of a pandemic.

Even without a constant barrage of bad or worrisome news, your mind’s natural tendency is to get distracted. Our most recent study found that 58% of employees reported an inability to regulate their attention at work. As the mind wanders, research has shown that it easily gets trapped into patterns and negative thinking. During times of crisis — such as those we are living through now — this tendency is exacerbated, and the mind can become even more hooked by obsessive thinking, as well as feelings of fear and helplessness. It’s why we find ourselves reading story after horrible story of quarantined passengers on a cruise ship, even though we’ve never stepped foot on a cruise ship, nor do we plan to.

When your mind gets stuck in this state, a chain reaction begins. Fear begins to narrow your field of vision, and it becomes harder to see the bigger picture and the positive, creative possibilities in front of you.  As perspective shrinks, so too does our tendency to connect with others. Right now, the realities of how the coronavirus spreads can play into our worst fears about others and increase our feelings of isolation, which only adds fuel to our worries.

Watching the past month’s turmoil unfold, I have been reminded of the old Buddhist parable of the second arrow. The Buddha once asked a student: “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?” He then went on to explain, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.”

We are all experiencing the first arrow of the coronavirus these days. We are impacted by travel restrictions, plummeting stock prices, supply shortages etc. But the second arrow — anxiety about getting the virus ourselves, worry that our loved ones will get it, worries about financial implications and all the other dark scenarios flooding the news and social media — is to a large extent of our own making. In short, the first arrow causes unavoidable pain, and our resistance to it creates fertile ground for all the second arrows.

It’s important to remember that these second arrows — our emotional and psychological response to crises — are natural and very human. But the truth is they often bring us more suffering by narrowing and cluttering our mind and keeping us from seeing clearly the best course of action.

The way to overcome this natural tendency is to build our mental resilience through mindfulness. Mental resilience, especially in challenging times like the present, means managing our minds in a way that increases our ability to face the first arrow and to break the second before it strikes us. Resilience is the skill of noticing our own thoughts, unhooking from the non-constructive ones, and rebalancing quickly. This skill can be nurtured and trained. Here are three effective strategies:
First, calm the mind.

When you focus on calming and clearing your mind, you can pay attention to what is really going on around you and what is coming up within you.  You can observe and manage your thoughts and catch them when they start to run away towards doomsday scenarios. You can hold your focus on what you choose (e.g. “Isn’t it a gift to be able to work from home!”) versus what pulls at you with each ping of a breaking news notification (e.g. “Oh no…the stock market has dropped again.”).

This calm and present state is crucial. Right away, it helps keep the mind from wandering and getting hooked, and it reduces the pits of stress and worry that we can easily get stuck in. Even more importantly, the continued practice of unhooking and focusing our minds builds a muscle of resilience that will serve us time and time again. When we practice bringing ourselves back to the present moment, we deepen our capacity to cope and weather all sorts of crises, whether global or personal. (Fortunately, there are a number of free apps available to help calm your mind and increase your own mindfulness.)
Look out the window.

Despair and fear can lead to overreactions. Often, it feels better to be doing something … anything … rather than sitting with uncomfortable emotions. In the past few weeks, I have felt disappointment and frustration with important business initiatives that have been adversely impacted by Covid-19. But I have been trying to meet this frustration with reflection versus immediate reaction. I know my mind has needed space to unhook from the swirl of bad news and to settle into a more stable position from which good planning and leadership can emerge. So, I have been trying to work less and to spend more time looking out my window and reflecting. In doing so, I have been able to find clearer answers about how best to move forward, both personally and as a leader.
Connect with others through compassion.

Unfortunately, many of the circles of community that provide support in times of stress are now closed off to us as cities and governments work to contain the spread of the virus. Schools are shut down, events are cancelled, and businesses have enacted work-from-home policies and travel bans. The natural byproduct of this is a growing sense of isolation and separation from the people and groups who can best quell our fears and anxieties.

The present climate of fear can also create stigmas and judgments about who is to blame and who is to be avoided, along with a dark, survivalist “every person for him/herself” mindset and behaviors.  We can easily forget our shared vulnerability and interdependence.

But meaningful connection can occur even from the recommended six feet of social distance between you and your neighbor — and it begins with compassion. Compassion is the intention to be of benefit to others and it starts in the mind.  Practically speaking, compassion starts by asking yourself one question as you go about your day and connect — virtually and in person — with others: How can I help this person to have a better day?

With that simple question, amazing things begin to happen. The mind expands, the eyes open to who and what is really in front of us, and we see possibilities for ourselves and others that are rich with hope and ripe with opportunity.

Reflections of an old man

 I have gone through a lot of changes in my life;from being a child to a boy, a boy into a teenager, a teenager into a young man, a young man  into an old man.


I am a changed man.

Change is my badge of honor.

And deliberate silence is my most important virtue.

I don't feel compelled to express my opinions in any matter.

I hold no strong opinions about other people.

Each one of them is judged on the present moment.

Nothing ties me to anybody in a possessive way.

I have shed the baggage that was bestowed upon my shoulders through the years of interaction with others.

I'm free to fly my own kite.

I hold no judgement upon anyone in my past life.

Each one in my past has completely turned into a stranger.

Who in his right sense would find it right to hold judgement against total strangers?

Each one has the freedom to either offend or respect me as person without having to feel that there will be any further judgement for their actions.

A stranger's opinion has no right to ruffle my feathers.

That's my direction of travel in this old age.

Slowly moving towards forgetfulness that comes with old age.

And then the senility, probably dementia at some stage if I'm lucky to live long enough.

Dementia in ripe old age is just another way of cleaning the slate of baggage accumulated over a lifetime so that we can move to eternity without any blemishes of unnecessary memories-who needs memories when we have eternity waiting for us?

I am now completely indifferent to the opinions of others.

Aging melts away the self-consciousness of the youthful years.

This what we once were as children before growing up stole our innocence.

Rewards of aging include bringing life to a full circle.

God has walked with me throughout this journey.

Knowing that there is a Higher power than myself that is Omnipresent and perfect is both humbling and reassuring.

It's like a child who plays under the watchful presence of a parent; if the play turns out to be dangerous, there is the caring parent to pull you down from the high branches of the tall tree that you foolishly climbed.



In my physical and mental growth,  I have also left behind many things that are no longer suited for  my  present station in  life.

These include relationships, friends, hobbies, and mindsets that served me well,but only for each of those different stages along the way.

Another thing to say about mindsets; I recognised long ago that life has no room for dogmatic perfection.

Before you even learn to be vulnerable to existential situations in life, you have to learn to be vulnerable to your own imperfections.

Life taught me to  embrace my own brokenness; learn to work with the best of your  broken pieces.

Not to mention the cracks in the brokenness that have allowed more light into my introverted personality.

Isn't it ironic that the only other word I equate with brokenness and vulnerability is 'authentic '?

Time has mellowed the value and any importance that I held for each of  the things that meant so much to me through the years.

In short, I'm not a captive of my past.


The small victories that I had in those moments are now overtaken by even bigger victories.

What looked like big failures no longer look big.
Disappointments that looked so big are now long forgotten.

A lot of things that were so important to me then no longer matter anymore.

This is the  change that  I'm talking about here.

God in His wisdom made it impossible for us to go back in time to these old times that have already passed.

And  I can never be the same man that I used to be.

And I can't talk for the man I  used to be.

I am completely liberated from the man I  used to be.

I have no agency to forgive or apologise on behalf of the  man I used to be; the man I used to be is almost a total stranger  to me in this present moment.

The dynamics of life make it impossible for me to go back in time and assume the responsibility of that man that I used to be.

I only have the agency to talk for the man I have become.

All that which belongs to my past is completely forgotten.

I can only deal with the challenges and realities of this present moment.

It is only in these terms that I  can  engage with anyone who has anything to do with me at this present moment.

I'm very careful on how I spend my emotional capital; I can't afford to spend it on my past life or anybody who is stuck to that long gone part of my life.

To safe my energy and time, I will keep my powder dry and safe my guns to only fight in my chosen future battles.

There is nothing in my past that is worth fighting for.